


I Want It That Way

by SchweenWinchester



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Boy Band, Body Appreciation, Bottom Jesse McCree, F/F, Gencio - Freeform, HANZO IS VERY STRONG AND HANDSOME AND GOOD, M/M, Marijuana, McHanzo - Freeform, Oral Sex, Pegging, REALLY GROSS FORCED PUBLIC OUTING, Reaper76 - Freeform, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, Sub!McCree - Freeform, The boy band AU you never wanted, Top Hanzo Shimada, Top!Hanzo, Trans Characters, actually now it's a sexcabin lolllll, also forgot to tag the background reaper76, also hanzo is only stoic when he's in public, because tbh most of us dudes kind of are, coming out of various closets, dom Hanzo, eventual grumpy sex, everyone hates chad, frank talk of sex, hangovers, hanzo and genji being good brothers at each other, hanzo is a big gay bag of shame, hanzome if you will, horrific abuse of a really expensive car, i am not patient tho so probably not a really slow burn, i guess we're doing gencio too now, jesse has a thing for the stronk, jesse owns a murdercabin, just guys being dudes, maybe the real boy band was the friends we made along the way, mccree is smart as hell but dumb as shit about emotions, occasional self referential slurs, or like morreyson if you prefer that, possibly some drug or alcohol use, rip chad's car, shit i basically had happen to me once and it SUCKED, the pharmercy is unfortunately mostly background, theres a bit of puke happening, trans friends being trans and friends, transphobic language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2018-11-02 23:27:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 14,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10954935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SchweenWinchester/pseuds/SchweenWinchester
Summary: When the most marketable member of the boy band drops out just before a big tour, Genji has the brilliant idea to bring in his brother.  His metalhead brother.  Who promptly usurps Jesse's spot in the lineup.Jesse ain't too happy about it.





	1. Chapter 1

Fucking Chad knew that rule one of the Bro Code was that you didn’t fuck with Jesse’s sister.

Fucking Chad _also_ knew that rule two of the Bro Code was that if you fucked with Jesse’s sister, you didn’t shit-talk her afterwards, especially within Jesse’s earshot.

Fucking Chad had decided to ignore those rules and was somehow still surprised when Jesse broke his nose and knocked out a couple off his stunningly pearly white teeth.

It of course would cost Jesse quite a bit of money- after all, Fucking Chad’s entire Fucking Face was insured- but to be honest it had been coming for a very long time and nobody was particularly sad to see Fucking Chad carted away on a stretcher, screaming bloody murder and promising death on the rest of the band for not backing him up.

The rest of the band knew the Bro Code.  The rest of the band _respected_ the Bro Code.  The rest of the band honestly couldn’t give less of a shit about Fucking Chad if they tried, but that left them with an empty spot in the lineup and a very extensive tour coming up and hordes of teenage girls to Please Not Disappoint, Thank You, The Management.

Boy band life was rough, especially when one of your bandmates was the biggest fucking douchebag on earth and yet somehow one of the most marketable men the world had ever seen.  It got rougher when that bandmate quit in a screaming fit.

Thank god, then, that Genji had a brother who could cover the lower registers with Jesse and wasn’t doing much of anything at the moment.

 

Jesse watched the Fucking New Guy from a distance as he spoke to their managers.  Genji hadn’t warned them that his brother was a metalhead, not exactly the squeaky-clean Disney-sponsored good good song and dance boy they were looking for, but any port in a storm, and at least FNG had a nice ass.  They’d somehow cope, as long as FNG didn’t try anything weird or usurp Jesse’s time-honored position as The Bad Boy.  So obviously the piercings would have to come out and the tattoos covered up and of course, of _course_ the FNG would shave.  Of course.  He had to.

...until Jack and Gabe promptly informed Jesse that he’d been moved to The Boy Next Door, which had been Fucking Chad’s position.

Technically, it was a promotion.  Technically.  But it also meant he had to clean up his image just the tiniest bit, just a smidgen, just enough to be the frontrunner heartthrob.

Jesse immediately reminded them that Genji was ready to go, like, whenever, and required much less tidying, but apparently having two Bad Boys in the band was overkill and he would just have to learn to cope with it.

Fucking New Guy immediately earned Jesse’s ire for that little stunt.  Him and his douchey undercut.  And the stupid piercings.  And that giant tattoo.  And his douchebag tank tops that had the arm holes all the way down to the waist so you could see Every Last Muscle on the guy’s side, even the fucking cum gutters on his hips.

Jesse had been the inked guy.  He had six shooters on his hips and they were deeply beloved by his fans.  Maybe he’d consider a newer, sexier tattoo, get his position back.

After all, he was the baddest boy in the band.

 

It was quickly apparent that Jesse was _not_ , in fact, the baddest boy in the band anymore.  Hanzo Shimada was surly, growly, and just did not smile at all, ever, full stop.

The worst part was that everyone else in the band seemed to like him.

Genji was a given, after all, this was his brother.  Lucio was a bit of a surprise, but Lucio also liked just about everybody and could probably make friends with a fucking rock.  Kevin, though- Kevin was The Cute One and somehow had found some kind of common ground with Hanzo and gave Jesse one of his patented Disappointed Looks whenever he heard him complain about the FNG.

“I don’t get it.  He’s a fucking asshole.”

Kevin gave Jesse a measuring look over his venti mocha.  “Maybe you ought to talk to him for once and find out what he’s really like.  He’s been working very diligently to learn the songs and choreography, you know.”

“He took my spot.”

“That wasn’t his decision.”

Jesse groaned and let his head thunk down on the table.  “Please don’t make me have to be nice to him.”

“Do you or do you not want this tour to go forward?”

He lifted his head, giving Kevin a forlorn pout.  “I do, it’s just he gives me the creeps and we’re gonna have to share space on the bus.”

“He’s actually very nice.  Just quiet.”

“He never smiles.”

“...he’s _shy,_ Jesse.”  Kevin huffed a sigh.  “I realize you’re bitter about having to shift roles, but you really don’t have to change that much.  Chad was already on the way out before your little... altercation, and you’ve been primed to take his spot. It only made sense.  I’m nowhere near butch enough to take his place, Genji has his whole J-Pop aesthetic going on, Lucio’s firmly in his Sporty Sweetheart category, and there is no way on earth to make Hanzo look wholesome enough.”

Kevin was right.  Jesse knew he was right.  That didn’t mean he couldn’t still be bitter as hell about it.  He polished off his chai latte and sulked into the remnants of the foam.

“Jack wants me to shave.”

One perfectly arched eyebrow.  “You’re being silly about this.  You can grow it back in less than a week.  You get a five o’clock shadow by lunchtime.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Then just trim it down a little bit.”  Kevin leaned over the table, flicking Jesse’s forehead.  “You can do this.  It’s only until we find another Chad.”

 

Jesse continued to avoid Hanzo for another week until Lucio and Genji finally shoved them into one of the practice rooms together, locked the door, and told them they weren’t getting out of there until they’d worked everything out.

Surprisingly, Hanzo was the one to make the first move.  The first half hour had been awkward silence, but eventually he sighed, pulled a package of Pocky out of his bag, and offered some to Jesse.

“Here.  Genji told me you liked these.”

Green tea.  Shit.  Jesse’s favorite.  He accepted one tentatively, still giving Hanzo a wary squint.

“If it’s any consolation, I don’t want to be in this position either,” Hanzo continued.  “I have a band of my own.  We do symphonic speed metal.  I’m just here as a favor to Genji.”

“You took my role,” Jesse grouched.

“I was _assigned_ your role.  I didn’t pick it.”

“It was the ink and piercings,” Jesse sighed.  “So... how are you doing on the choreography?”

A wince from Hanzo.  “Not great.  I play bass.  I stand there and look angry.  I don’t _dance._ ”

“...do you want to practice together?”

A long, calculating look from Hanzo, making Jesse feel like he’d been weighed and found deeply wanting in some capacity.  It was wildly unsettling.

“All right.”

Five minutes later they’d shoved the chairs to the edges of the room and Jesse was trying to teach Hanzo how to moonwalk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, to be honest idk where I'm going with this, I'm just fucking around at work.

Hanzo honestly still wasn’t certain about how he’d let his brother talk him into this completely dumbass idea, but somehow it all seemed to be working out.  Lucio was almost painfully eager to make friends, Kevin had proved himself to be quiet and reliable and a good listener, Genji was Genji...

...but Jesse McCree was an absolute mystery.

The man had spent the entire first week clearly avoiding him, and Hanzo overheard the snide little remarks.  It didn’t bother him too terribly, but it certainly made things a little awkward when they were trying to perform as a cohesive group, and he could sense the tension from his new bandmates as they tried desperately to pretend like Jesse didn’t hate Hanzo’s guts.  Nobody was comfortable with the tension between Jesse and Hanzo, and Hanzo was tempted to give it all up and go back home and let them work it out amongst themselves, but he'd gone and signed a lease like an idiot and he desperately wanted that security deposit back.

Genji had been the saving grace of the whole thing.  He'd assured Hanzo that no, Jesse was just sore at having his spot taken, no, things would be fine, the other guy was a fucking asshole, you remember me bitching about Fucking Chad, right?  And that green tea pocky and a civil discussion would smooth everything over.  He hadn't, however, warned that the civil discussion would involve getting locked in a room with Jesse Fucking McCree.

And now Hanzo was learning the subtleties of boy band choreography and exactly how important all those swishy little hand motions really were when it came to making teenage girls cream their panties over your performance.

"Now come on, do the heart grip when you hold that note!  Hold it!  Hold that fucker like it means something to you!"

Hanzo let out an exasperated growl and let his shirt go as he abruptly stopped the note.

"The hell?"

"I need a break," he snarled, probably a little nastier than he'd intended.  "I only have  _ two _ lungs at my disposal, and they're recovering at the moment."

That earned a questioning squint.  "From what?"

"Surgery."  He huffed out a sigh and sat down, feeling lightheaded.  "Besides, aren't the performances pre-recorded?"

"Like hell they are!  You think we're gonna Milli Vanilli that shit for our girls?  They ain't coming to hear the same shit every time, note for note.  Hell.  Gonna have to have you solo some of Chad's old parts so they know you're on the level.  Gotta talk to Jack about that."

Hanzo squinted up at Jesse as the man paced as a realization dawned on him.

"What?"

"...you actually take this seriously.  You actually care about this whole..." he gestured vaguely.  "...thing."

"Well... yeah."  Jesse stared down at Hanzo like he'd grown a second head.  "Why wouldn't I?  This band saved my damn life."

That threw Hanzo for the biggest loop of his life, and he went quiet, allowing Jesse to return to pacing and muttering about planning solos, working choreography around Hanzo's healing lungs, and just how they were going to make this tour memorable without Fucking Chad and his hotel room antics on hand.  He pulled off his shirt- after all, it was getting sweaty from the sheer amount of aerobic exercise he'd been doing for the past couple hours- and mopped his brow, letting the admittedly paltry AC cool him down.

"...that where they worked on your lungs?"

Hanzo sat up, glaring defensively at Jesse, whose eyes were locked on the still-pink scars on his chest, and he decided in that moment that he really wasn't fond of Jesse McCree.

"That's where they sewed my gills shut after they dragged me to the surface."

He also decided that he had to have him.  Angry sex was the best sex.

 

Genji passed him a beer and flopped down beside him on the couch, giving Hanzo a coy, sideways glance.

"How did practice go today?"

A noncommittal grunt as he cracked open his beer.

"So are you two friends now?"

A glare and another grunt, then Hanzo reached for the remote.  Genji rolled his eyes.

"I thought you were going to try to work things out between you two."

"He stared at my scars."

"Hanzo.  Aniki."  He turned to his brother, stealing away his beer and taking a swig.  "Precious, tiny big brother of mine."

Another glare.

"...Jesse has no fucking clue about your scars.  You could tell him you got in a fight with a ninja and he'd believe you.  He's one of the smartest people I know and still dumb as a box of rocks, you know?"

Hanzo snorted and stole back his beer.  "Is he single?"

"We kind of have to be.  So yeah.  Except Kevin, but don't tell Jesse."

"Oh?"  Now that earned a curious smirk.  "Why shouldn't I tell Jesse?"

"Because Kevin's totally long distance dating his sister and I like Kevin alive, thanks.  Didn't I tell you about the Bro Code?"

"It seems far more possessive than is reasonable."

"Fareeha's a babe, and Jesse has an honest to god criminal record from scaring off guys who don't take no for an answer."

Now _ that _ was interesting.  He took another pull from his beer.  "I thought all of you had to be squeaky clean."

"Hah!  You  _ wound _ me, brother."  Genji clutched his heart and fell back on the couch.

"I was wondering how you got past all that.  Don't tell me you're still making regrettable decisions."

"I have never,  _ ever  _ regretted anything in my life.  So, am I meant to take this as you marking him for conquest, or is this just vague interest?"

Hanzo squinted at the infomercial on TV and downed the rest of his beer. 

"Hanzo?"   Genji's smile was downright wicked as he waited for his brother's answer.

"That overgrown wannabe twink's ass is  _ mine _ ."

 

The overgrown wannabe twink whose ass was in question rolled up in fine spirits the next day to pick up Genji- and ostensibly Hanzo- for another round of practice.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tour's kicked off, and so has the rumor mill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen i'm gonna just write all of overwatch as trans at some point  
> warning for causal use of self-referential slurs regarding a pre-out trans guy

"I don't think we're ever gonna get along.  This was a dumb as hell idea."

Lucio tossed a pillow at Jesse's head.  "He likes you just fine, Eastwood.  Besides, I didn't hear you complaining this much when Chad hated you."  He leaned over the bed, grinning smoothly.  "...or is there another reason why Hanzo's opinion means so much to you?"

"Shut up."  The pillow was returned, smack into Lucio's face.  "I just don't like all this tension, is all.  Drives me nuts.  We're supposed to be a group and he's fucking it up."

"No, _Chad_ fucked it up.  Hanzo just came in to help out for a while.  Come on, he's a nice guy.  He's been nothing but cool to me and Kevin since he joined up."

That made Jesse snort in disbelief.  "Am I seriously the only one who doesn't get along with him?"

"Jack doesn't trust him."

"Jack doesn't trust anyone but Gabe."  He flopped back.  "Shit.  And why the hell am I taking advice from you?  You like everybody."

"Because we're rooming together since Kevin demanded his diva suite and I'm the only one around to listen to you."

"Why do we even do this?  We're rich as hell, we can afford separate hotel rooms."

"Old times' sake?  Man, you used to be _fun_ on tour.  What happened?"  Lucio huffed, pulling out his phone.  "Don't tell me you're turning into Chad.  You gonna bust up some hotel rooms and blame it on Hanzo like he used to blame it on you?  Because if so then I'm out, I'll go crash with the Super Shimada Brothers."

"Go fuck yourself," Jesse sighed softly, all the fight leaving him.  "I just want to make sure we survive this as a band."

That gave Lucio pause, and he shifted to Jesse's bed, sitting beside him.

"I'm scared," McCree began quietly.  "I don't know what I'm gonna do if this goes under, Lucio.  I'm never gonna be able to launch my own career."

"Pretty sure you're underestimating yourself," was the soft response.  "If Watchpoint goes south, you're gonna be fine.  You've got a lot going for you- I mean, you're decent at guitar, you've got a good voice, you've got a built-in fanbase, you can go really far with all of that."

"You know I fall apart without support."

That made Lucio flop down beside his friend, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze.  "Hey.  You've been really good on those meds so far.  And if all else fails, you and me can do some stuff together.  Techno country, we'll be pioneers of a whole new genre.  Can't fail."

Jesse smiled faintly.  "Sure."

"So hey, I think you should go and work things out with Hanzo.  Like I said, he's perfectly nice, he's just kind of quiet and doesn't know how to deal with all this publicity.  Pretty sure he's freaking out just like you are."

 

Hanzo was not in fact freaking out just like Jesse.

Instead, the cause of his particular freakout was Genji, who had raided the minibar and was trying desperately to get his phone back from  his brother so he could drunk text their managers a picture of his dick.  Hanzo, being the sensible brother, had stuck the phone in his underwear to keep Genji's filthy little drunken mitts off of it as he made his way down the hall.  First door, Lucio and Jesse.  No way.  Second door... Kevin.

He paused, listening at the door- nothing other than the quiet sounds of murmuring over a Skype call.

As he moved to knock, the door swung open- apparently it hadn't been latched- and he fell into the room, letting out a surprised yelp and startling the _shit_ out of Kevin, and by proxy, Fareeha on the Skype call.

Two seconds later he was just as startled to see Kevin in subtle full face makeup with his hair pulled back in a high ponytail and a cute little white cotton camisole on.

"Shut the fucking door!"

He obeyed, eyes wide, utterly silent, leaving himself and Kevin alone in the room as Fareeha closed the call in one mother of a fucking hurry.

They stared at one another, neither one wanting to make the first move or comment- Kevin's shoulders shook in fear and anger that he'd been discovered, and Hanzo was trying his absolute best to melt through the floor.

"...you look nice," he choked out, eyes still wide.

Another drawn out silence.

"If you tell the rest of the band, I'm going to eviscerate you."

"Noted."  Hanzo slowly collected himself and hauled himself to his feet.  "But you do look very nice.  Did Fareeha teach you?"

A slow, tentative nod.  "...so... you are okay with this?"  Still quivering a little from shock.  Still not entirely believing that he would just be fine with all of this.

"I would be the world's biggest hypocrite if I wasn't," he said gently, checking to make sure the door was locked.  "...may I stay in here for a while?  My brother's driving me insane."

Slowly, carefully, Kevin relaxed.  "I guess.  Sure."

"Thank god."  Hanzo flopped onto the massive king-sized bed.  "So... should I not call you Kevin in private?"

"I go by Angela."

"Nice choice."  He smiled up at her.  "I was an idiot and let my brother pick my name.  It stuck before I found anything else I liked."

She returned his smile, relaxing, relieved.  "I thought that might be why you have those scars, but Genji said you'd had some kind of lung surgery."

"He's feeding you the line I told him to," he chuckled.  "I suppose it's pretty hard to keep this all under wraps."

She nodded.  "Mm-hm.  At least I haven't had anything legal or major done.  They can't track anything down about me to out me just... yet..."

Their eyes met as Hanzo blanched.

"Oh.  Shit."

He took a few deep breaths to calm himself as she squeezed his hand.

"...they're going to find out, you realize."

"I know.  I'm surprised they haven't done so already."  He groaned as he returned the squeeze.  "I'm surprised the rest of the band doesn't know by now."

"Well... I do.  Genji does, obviously."

"The managers do, they said they'd take care of it."  His face crumpled into a snarl.  "If Jesse finds out..."

She flopped down beside him.  "I don't think he'll care so much, but he'll be probably pretty dumb about it.  He'd be more angry about me dating Fareeha behind his back.  I broke the Bro Code."

"I genuinely hate that aspect of the Bro Code.  He doesn't own his sister.  She can fight her own battles."  The snarl became a faint sneer.  "God knows I was subjected to that nonsense enough when I was growing up."

Angela smiled, prodding him in the side.  "You were daddy's delicate flower?"

"His little princess.  Ugh."  He made a gagging noise.

"That's okay.  My parents don't know what to do with me.  I think they think I'm gay?  I mean, I suppose they're right, just not in the way they assume."  She giggled.

"Oh, likewise.  I haven't spoken to them in..."  Shit.  How long had it been?  Before T.  Before top surgery.  Before the name change.  "...years."

"I bet you made a handsome lesbian back in the day."

"I did, except for the whole fucking guys thing."  He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his camera roll.  "Here.  Look at the little baby dyke back in the day."

She grabbed it away from him, letting out a sharp bark of laughter.  "Oh my god!  Look at you!  Daddy's delicate flower my ass, you still looked like a brick shithouse!"

He grinned, swiping at the phone.  "Hey!"

"Oh my god, I would have had such a crush on you," she continued.  "Cheekbones for days and biceps the size of my head!  Be still my beating heart, Hanzo, you were such a butch little dreamboat!"

"No offense, Angela, but you're a little willowy for my tastes, even when you butch up."

"Ahhhh... okay."  She smirked.  "You like them stacked, hm?"

He waggled his hand, nodding his head from side to side.  "I like a man I'm not about to break readily."

"...is that why you spend almost all day glaring at Jesse?"  Ohhhhh, butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.  "Because he _is_ pretty thick."

"No."

Angela cocked an eyebrow, the smirk growing.

"...yes."

"Oh my god!"  She smacked his arm.  "Are you serious?  Because you're giving him a massive insecurity complex.  Just fuck him already, Hanzo.  He needs it."

"It would be easier if I liked him."  He sighed, head thunking back against the headboard.  "He drives me absolutely mad and all I want to do is shut him up with a good facefucking."

" _Hanzo!_  I'm shocked."

"It'd occupy his mouth with something other than smart remarks."

She gagged and rolled away.  "Augh, you're disgusting."

"Says the girl who wants me to fuck him."  He nudged her back.  "Hey, your eyeshadow is a little bit smudged.  Want me to fix it for you?"

"Please?"

Within an hour of Hanzo stumbling into Angela's room, the entire band had found out and decided that they were absolutely, definitely fucking, lack of noise be damned.  Maybe they were into real quiet tantric shit.

Jesse lay awake and slowly drove himself insane about it all night and was an utter grouchy bitch the next morning.

 


	4. Chapter 4

"I thought he was dating Fareeha."

"He is."  The pronoun made Hanzo's gut clench slightly, but he fought it down.  Don't ever fucking out your friends without permission.  "Nothing happened.  We did each other's nails and giggled about boys."

Genji gave him a deeply skeptical glance.  "Really?"

"Really.  How are you not hung over?"

"I don't get hung over.  Now, really-really?  I know twinks aren't your type, but Kevin's really cute.  He's got great lips."

"Really-really.  I went in there to get away from you and we just hung out.  I talked to Fareeha.  She says hi."  Hanzo gulped down most of a bottle of water.

That earned another squint from his brother.  "You're lying through your teeth."

"I promise that I'm not."  He studiously ignored the sideways glances from the other people in the hotel gym.  "We had a pleasant conversation, passed out watching Waiting, and woke up with nail polish on the bedspread."

"Hn."

Hanzo glanced back at Genji as the treadmill slowed.  "What?"

The younger man leaned in close and took a deep whiff of Hanzo.

"Excuse me?"

"You stink of sex."

"I stink of sweat because I'm at the fucking gym."

"Watch out, your jealous boyfriend is headed this way."  Genji nodded towards the door, where Jesse had just entered.  He waved, then jogged over as Hanzo suppressed a groan.  "Hey, Jess."

"Hey."  Jesse gave them both a tentative, awkward grin.  "So uh... heard about you and Kevin last night, Han."

Hanzo's eyes narrowed.  "What about us?"

"Nothin'!  Uh, nothin'... wrong with it or anything.  Uh, I'm real happy you're like... bonding."

"More like boning."

That earned a simultaneous elbow in the side from both Jesse and Hanzo, which made Genji stumble off the treadmill, wheezing.  They watched him go, Hanzo with a satisfied smirk, Jesse with a faintly horrified and yet somehow concerned brotherly gaze.

"Oh... shit."

"He's had worse."  Hanzo sniffed, stepping off the treadmill.  "Kevin and I didn't fuck.  I just hid in his room to get away from Genji's drunken idiocy."

"Uh... oh.  Okay.  He uh, he let you?"

"Kevin?  Of course.  We're  _ friends _ ."  That last word came out a little more sarcastic and strained than Hanzo had intended, and he winced inwardly.  He was definitely not used to having to be friendly and approachable.

"Oh.  Um... well, that's good.  That's real good."

Hanzo watched as Jesse started up his treadmill at a steady powerwalk.  "You must do infinite squats to get an ass like that."

"What?"

"That ass.  It's incredible.  Same with the thighs.  Are you naturally thick like that, or do you have to work for it?  My leg days amount to practically nothing when it comes to gains."  He licked his lips, fighting off the predatory urge to just grab a god damn handful as the booty swayed before his eyes.  That ass would look perfect with his favorite dick stuck in it.

"I mean, I mostly just maintain?  Used to do a lot of heavy lifting before I joined Watchpoint," he said warily, not entirely sure where Hanzo was going with this line of conversation.

"Hn.  Keep it up."  The urge overwhelmed him, and he smacked the right cheek, grinning as Jesse jumped damn near a mile in the air.  Oh, it was worth it.  It was so utterly worth it.  "That's the ass of a god."

That morning as he showered, Jesse had the most confused, scared boner of his life, and it didn't ease up much during the course of the day, not with the looks Hanzo was throwing him.  

Shit.  

Hell.  

The gay thoughts had caught up to him at long last.


	5. Chapter 5

Jesse "Gets More Ass Than A Toilet Seat" McCree had a couple of deep, dark, horrible secrets the rest of the band sure as shit didn't know about.

One: that he was queer as a three-dollar bill.

Two: that he was a blushing, stuttering virgin who'd never touched dick nor pussy and didn't seem likely to do either because he had absolutely no game to speak of, none, nada, zero, zip, big fat fucking zilch.  Sure, he talked a good talk, walked a good walk, but when it came down to it, came down to when it  _ really mattered _ , Jesse could barely string two words together.

So when he finally found himself in the position to talk to Hanzo, see if maybe they could spot each other at the gym, maybe not be at each other's throats all the damn time and maybe have a friendly jerkoff sesh together like all good bros did, he faltered.  Each time, he got gruff and growly and didn't say a single thing he'd been practicing in the shower.  And each time, he could tell Hanzo liked him less and less.

This was bullshit of the highest order.

The first concert of the tour went okay.  Hanzo had performed the steps he'd been taught, no flourishes, nothing out of the ordinary, and Jesse could tell the fans were wondering who the fuck the new guy was and why Chad wasn't out front like he always was and why Jesse was in his place instead.  They still seemed glad to be there, but there was a note of disappointment in the air after the encore.  There was only half the screaming.  The Chadettes weren't happy at all.

He heaved a sigh in the hotel room and flopped on his bed, then glanced up as Hanzo- of all people!- entered and sat beside him.

"Uh... hi?"  He sat up, brow furrowed.  "Can I help you?"  Inward wince.  That sounded way nastier than he'd intended.

Hanzo turned to him, giving him one of his measuring squints.

"Hanzo?"

He snorted, sucked his teeth thoughtfully, then got up and shut the door, leaving them isolated.  Alone.

Together.

"Uh... is everything okay?"

"I get along with everyone in this group except you," Hanzo growled, voice low and deep and hitting Jesse right in the hormones.  "I don't understand what your problem is with me.  We've resolved our issues.  You know I'm temporary.  But tonight you stepped right in the way of my dance routine and I nearly fell."

"I did?  When the hell was that?"

"About five minutes in."  Hanzo's arms folded, and Jesse found himself salivating over the thick, rippling muscle as it moved.

"Sorry.  I, uh... I think I was avoiding a cord."  Don't look at the arms.  Don't look at the arms.

"Hn."  Hanzo seemed to catch the stare, and a slight sneer crossed his lips.  "Like what you see,  _ cowboy _ ?"

Oh god.  Oh god.  He went from drooling to dry as his jaw worked, trying to find any excuse possible.

"Is that what this is about?"  Hanzo stepped closer, the sneer evolving into a wicked smirk as Jesse shuffled backwards on the bed.  "Jesse, do you  _ want _ me?"

Gasp.  Choke.  Words, come on, words, this was everything he'd dreamed about since meeting the guy and he had to make  _ words come out- _

"Yuh," he managed, with all the finesse and intelligence of a pithed frog.  Close enough, because Hanzo's smirk grew into a frankly evil smile as he stood over the other man.

"Then  _ earn me. _ "

And with that, he turned, sauntering out of the room, leaving Jesse alone with his terrified boner.

 

Nobody believed him.  Lucio, Kevin, well, okay, Genji a little bit.  And Hanzo kept sending him wicked bedroom eyes whenever nobody was looking.  He started having dreams about the man.  Waking fantasies about what his dick must look like.  Probably real soft and pretty, he had great skin and Jesse would have bet his life that Hanzo's dick was about as thick as the rest of him, too, real heavy and just god damned gorgeous.

He'd never sucked dick before, but he was about ready to.  The only challenge was how he was gonna "earn" Hanzo.

The fuck did that even mean?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna warn you, there is gonna be some grossness happening in this and upcoming chapters, definitely read the new tags if you want to be forewarned
> 
> yeah i been there hanzo, i got u bro

"You fucking didn't."

"I did.  You know me.  You know how I am."  He smirked at his brother as he touched up his undercut with clippers in the bathroom sink.  "You know I can't resist having something dangled before me that I can't have."

Genji took a sip from his drink.  "You're gonna give that boy a complex."

"Oh, I already have.  He's going to be  _ begging _ for it by the time I give him the go-ahead."  He straightened up.  "Do you think I should get my nipples pierced?"

"Only if I get them done, too."

"Hm."  Hanzo grinned, poking at his chest.  "They're probably healed up enough.  Bet it'd make him lose his shit."

"You're obsessing."

"Did you  _ see _ that ass?  Of course I am."

"He's a virgin.  You know how they are."

"How the hell would you know?"

"He told me once when he was drunk.  He thinks the rest of us don't know.  And he thinks we think he's straight."  Genji snorted, making a face.  "He's about as subtle as a brick to the face, the way he stares at your ass.  It's gross."

"He has good taste."

"You're my  _ brother. _ "

"Is anyone in this band straight?"

"Kevin."  Another pull from the bottle.  "Me, at family reunions."

"Hah.  You're as much of a disappointment to the Shimada family as I am."

"I know, right?  Thank  _ god. _ "

Hanzo finished up, then turned and sat on the counter.  "So how should I go about hinting to him that I'm trans?"

"It can't be subtle.  He doesn't get subtle.  You might just have to come out and tell him, point-blank."

"Or I could jump up and wrap my legs around his face like Xena and let him find out that way."

"I mean, you  _ could. _ "  Genji let out a drunken giggle.  "God.  The whole rest of the band has this idea of you as this like, stoic badass.  I wish they could hear you now, they'd die.  They'd straight up die."

"I  _ am _ a stoic badass.  Just not around you."  He ran a hand through his hair, jaw set in frustration.  "I can't even make up my mind what the hell I want from him. I told him to 'earn me.'  The fuck does that even mean?"

Genji shrugged.  "Sounds to me like you told him to suck your dick."

"I didn't tell him to suck my dick."

"You did.  And he's gonna.  He's coming for you, Hanzo.  Middle of the night he's gonna sneak into our hotel room and suck your dick and you have nobody but yourself to blame for it.  Fucking cryptic asshole.  Did you give him the line about the gills yet?"

"Yeah, weeks ago."

"You piece of shit goth."  He seized the tissue box from on the toilet tank and hucked it at Hanzo, who ducked in time but not enough to avoid it bouncing off the mirror and hitting his back.  "Fuck you and your mother."

"Son of a bitch!"  Hanzo threw the tissues back at him, laughing.  "Asshole, I swear to god I'm going to kill you in your sleep!"

"Not if Jesse's too busy sucking your dick to let you up to stab me!"  He batted them away, messy-drunk, giggling, and sliding off the toilet seat onto the floor.  "He's gonna suck it clean off!  You'll have to buy a new one!"

Hanzo hauled Genji to his feet, snagging his bottle for a swig of his own before throwing his brother over his shoulders and carrying him into the bedroom.  "And you'll be the one paying for it!  Fifty grand, and they'll take the skin graft off your  _ face. _ "

"That shit is  _ insured- _ " he grunted as Hanzo dropped him unceremoniously onto a bed- "and you never wanted phallo anyhow."

"I want it if they fuck up your face for it."  Hanzo grabbed his shampoo and conditioner and headed back into the bathroom.  "I can finally call you dicknose and  _ mean it. _ "

 

The next morning, Hanzo was horrified to find a copy of some awful gossip rag slipped under his door with the words " **TRANSSEXUAL JOINS WATCHPOINT** " and his face- the least flattering photos they could find of him both pre-t and now- plastered all over the cover.


	7. Chapter 7

"Yeah, we got them, too."  Lucio held up his copy, clearly disgusted.  "Same with Kevin.  I'm sorry, Genji.  They'll print anything if they think they can make money with it.  Is Hanzo okay?"

"He's hiding.  Pretty sure he's about ready to quit."  Genji was hung over, angry on his brother's behalf, and trying to gauge Jesse's reaction to the most public of public outings possible.  So far, he hadn't said anything, but on the other hand, he hadn't said anything.  "I feel like... I don't know.  Should we make a public statement about it?"

Jesse was staring at the cover, only half listening.  Kevin was trying to talk to Hanzo through the door, Lucio and Genji were trying to figure out what even to do, and Jesse... well, hey, at least now he knew where the scars came from.

He'd definitely have to adjust his masturbatory fantasies, though.

"Hey, Han?"  He nudged Kevin away from the door and knocked.  "Han, let me in.  Hey, I want to talk to you."

Genji started to hiss something at him, but the door opened, and Hanzo pulled Jesse in, slamming the door behind him.

"Hanzo, listen-"

He found himself pinned against the wall, Hanzo glaring daggers at him.

"What do you  _ want, _ cowboy?"

"Han, jesus christ-"

"Are you going to tell me I disgust you?"  He pressed close, those god damned plush fucking lips curled into the handsomest snarl Jesse had ever seen.  "That I don't belong here?  That I'm some kind of  _ freak? _ "

"What, no-"

"Go on.  Tell me."  His voice went dangerously silky, chin lifted in the proud defiance of someone who had nothing left to lose.  "Tell me what you think of me."

Well, Jesse couldn't find the words, so instead he did the next best thing.

He kissed Hanzo square on the lips.

 

"To be fair, Eastwood, you sorta picked the worst possible moment to do that," Lucio soothed as he held the ice pack over his friend's eye.  "You kind of deserve this."

"Shut up."

"I mean, dude just had like, his entire business splashed all over the newsstand and you kiss him?  What did you expect?  I bet he thinks you get off on human misery or something."

"Shut up."

"Like, I know you were trying to go for the whole 'I don't care what anyone says, I want you anyways' thing but that never comes off like it does in the movies.  Never.  So like, I think you really ought to apologize and see if he'll still want to be in the band."

Jesse gave Lucio a long-suffering one-eyed glance, heaving a sigh as he took the ice pack and pressed it a little closer to his face.  "Lucio?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."


	8. Chapter 8

"Hanzo, come on," Genji wheedled as he sat by the locked bathroom door.  "Nobody in the band cares."

Stony silence.

"Lucio still thinks you're a total badass.  Kevin is just annoyed you punched Jesse.  Jesse obviously knows he's a dumbshit.  And you know I don't give a flying fuck."

Still more silence.  Genji would have to pull out the big guns.

"I have Tanqueray."

The door cracked open tentatively at the offer.

"And Jesse gave me his weed."

It opened wider, permitting him entrance, and Genji scampered in, gifts in hand.  Hanzo snatched them up immediately and went to go lie down in the tub while his brother perched on the toilet lid.

"The concert tonight got postponed."

"Good."  It took Hanzo all of three seconds to roll up a competent joint and get it going with a few puffs.  "I don't think I can do this."

Genji sighed heavily, opening up the gin and taking a too-deep swig.  There was no way the two of them were getting out of this sober, so may as well go hard from the start.

"My band isn't sure they want me back once this is over."

"Fuck those guys.  They knew you were trans to begin with."

"Yeah, but it wasn't hugely public like it is now.  They're legitmiately scared of some of the people out there taking offense to my existence and targeting them for being associated with me."

"Fuck those guys," Genji repeated sagely.  "They sound like chickenshits."

Hanzo let out a grumbled curse as he took a deep drag from the joint before passing it to his brother, who in turn passed him the gin.  "They are."

"See?  Fuck 'em.  At least the rest of the guys here want you.  You're Lucio's hero, man.  He's convinced you're the toughest guy he's ever met."

"Hm."

"And I mean, Jesse still wants you to bang his brains out."

"Mm."

"And Kevin threatened to leave the band if you don't stick around."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah.  He said you're so much better than Chad that he doesn't want anyone else to fill your spot.  And you know I'd walk if you walk, too."  He reached over and nudged Hanzo's arm.  "Still haven't heard back from Jack and Gabe yet, but they're probably doing as much damage control as possible to keep you safe."

Another noncommittal grunt as he tipped back the bottle.

"So, I mean, if we lose some fans, big fucking deal.  They were shitty people anyways."

"I'm still not as marketable as you need me to be."

"Oh fucking shut it," Genji growled.  "Quit it with this 'not good enough' bullshit.  You sound like Dad."

"Because he was right."  Another long, long swig.  "We're going to need more booze."

"Hanzo.  If you weren't good enough, I wouldn't have left with you."  Genji's voice turned gentle.  "You were worth it."

He gazed down at his boots, pressed against the porcelain of the tub, framing the faucet.  "I don't feel worth it."

"You never do."

"I still think our parents were right."

"If they were, may god strike me down.  You're better than them.  Always have been, always will be.  I don't regret a thing."  Genji took a drag from the joint and passed it back.  "Every single day I wake up glad that you're my brother."

"You're so full of shit."

"Well yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong."  His lips turned up in the slightest of smiles.  "You're my favorite brother and I love you."

That earned a snort.  "Gay."

"Takes one to know one."

Hanzo shrugged.  "Fair enough."

"You gonna come out of this bathroom anytime today?"

"Like hell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if at first you don't succeed, fuck the world and smoke some weed- genji shimada, probably


	9. Chapter 9

"We gotta cancel the tour."

Jack huffed a sigh and glanced over at Gabe, who sat beside him and tossed yet another lurid gossip rag onto the coffee table.  The past day had been a whirlwind of damage control and following leads, trying to find out who would be angry enough to out Hanzo.

"The whole band's in danger.  You know the political climate around trans people these days.  He's a walking target and none of them deserve that."

"I know."  Jack squeezed his eyes shut and took a sip of now-tepid coffee, his shoulders slumping.  "God, I hate it, but I know."

"You better call them now."

"Could you?  Please?"  A pleading look from Jack's strikingly blue eyes, making Gabe groan softly and stand.

"Fine.  I'll be the bearer of bad news again."

"Thanks."  Jack buried his face in his hands, the tension twisting the muscles in his back into knots.  "I need a drink."

"You and me both, babe."

 

Jesse's next peace offering was a large hawaiian pizza and a bottle of Jack, both of which he insisted on delivering in person.

"Hanzo?"

Silence.

"Listen, I ain't sore about the nose.  I deserved that.  But I got you some food.  Please let me in?"

The bathroom door, as it had for Genji, cracked open the slightest bit, and the heady stench of Jesse's cheap skunk wafted out.

"...you okay in there?"

"Come in."  Hanzo's voice was husky from smoke.  "Thank you."

Jesse stepped in, pizza in one hand, bottle in the other, and tried not to trip over Hanzo, who was shirtless and stretched out on the floor, eyes startlingly bloodshot.

"Hey.  Figured you might have the munchies."

"Mmm."  Hanzo grabbed Jesse's pant leg and tugged him down to sit; Jesse obeyed without question.  "I'm not sorry about the nose."

"I figured."

Hanzo squinted at his bandmate, then scooted so his head was lying in Jesse's lap.  "Feed me."

"...yessir."  He took a slice, offered it gently to Hanzo, who began nibbling at it like a placid deer.  "Gabe says the tour's cancelled.  They don't want anyone trying to take a potshot at you."

"Thank god."

"Yeah."  He ducked his head.  "Might be nice to have some downtime instead."

"I thought you'd be furious."

"Nah.  You gotta stay safe.  I know how much it sucks to be a target."

A questioning look from Hanzo, face full of cheese, ham, and pineapple, made him elaborate.

"Used to be in a gang."

His eyebrows slowly raised as he squinted up at Jesse.  "I heard you had a criminal record."

"Yeah, I mean, shit happens.  You're broke, there's no way to get out of the ghetto, you join a gang because shit, at least you've got friends and there's some kind of way to make money to help your family out.  Send your sisters to college, you know."

"How'd you wind up in a boy band?"

"Long story.  Short form is Gabe saved my ass when I was getting clean and getting out.  I was trying to make it as a country singer, he heard me, helped me get on my feet when things were bad, and he and Jack knew a few other guys who wanted to start some kind of music career, so they just kinda... talked us into it.  Kept me off the hard stuff, sent my ass to college, gave me something to focus on besides a slow downward spiral."

"Mm.  Another slice, please."  Hanzo cocked his head.  "College?"

"Yeah.  Wound up being half decent at picking up languages, got my degree, might be a translator once this all melts down.  Might go back since I liked the math courses I took, get another degree for the fun of it.  Either that or see about journalism?"

"Hn.  Genji wasn't kidding when he said you were the dumbest smart guy he ever knew."

"He ain't wrong."  Jesse sighed, taking the half-smoked joint from where it lay on the counter and lighting it up.  "I'm just trying to make sure I sock away enough to be able to have fun with a job and not worry about whether it pays for the rest of my life."

"Mmm."

They sat in silence for a while, Hanzo devouring the hell out of the pizza, McCree getting slowly and pleasantly stoned.

"We're gonna have to leave the bathroom eventually.  I mean, the other guys just want to know you're okay, mostly."

"Mmm."

"Are you?"

"I'll be alright."  Hanzo waved a hand dismissively.  "Wouldn't be the first time I've been targeted."

"That ain't fair."

"Life's not fair."

Jesse went quiet again, gently pulling Hanzo's topknot free from its elastic.  "...you got nice hair."

"Thanks.  I shaved off the greys."

"Greys?"

"Mmm.  They started growing in when I was nineteen."  He reached up and touched Jesse's sideburns.  "Hey, do you condition those?"

"Yeah, why?"

"They're nice."

"Thanks."  Jesse smiled, a little bashfully.  "Almost had to shave 'em off."

"Would have been a shame."  Hanzo hummed, eyes sliding shut as Jesse played with the thick, coarse strands of his hair.  "They're very good for your face.  You have a good face, Jesse.  I like it very much."

Jesse scrunched his nose up as Hanzo's fingers explored his face, poking and prodding curiously.  "I mean, thanks.  So do you."

"It's very squishy."

"You're very high."

"Mmm.  More pizza."

"Yessir."


	10. Chapter 10

So as it turned out, Fucking Chad had done the digging and exposing.

Which is how the entirety of Watchpoint found themselves outside his house a week after the tour was cancelled, fully prepared to trash the shit out of his Lambo.

"I don't know about this," Hanzo breathed softly when he saw the car.  God, it was a thing of beauty, sultry yellow, long and low and probably fuelled by orgasms.  Hanzo had had wet dreams about cars like this.  Busting it up would be a cardinal sin.  The car hadn't done anything wrong, after all.

His reverie was broken when Lucio jumped on top of it and smashed his baseball bat through the front windshield, setting off the car alarm and alerting the entire neighborhood to the fact that Fucking Chad's shit was in the process of getting wrecked.

"Should we run?"

"Nah.  His neighbors hate him as much as we do."  Genji stepped forward with the mall katana he'd picked up earlier and started slashing the tires while Kevin took a tire iron to the doors with an expression of sheer, blissful glee.  Only Jesse and Hanzo were left watching, Jesse with a faint, satisfied grin, Hanzo glancing over his shoulder at the other houses, prepared for someone to come out and find them.

"Hey.  Hey, it's gonna be okay.  You deserve this," Jesse murmured to Hanzo as he lit a Lucky Strike, watching casually as the rest of the band destroyed the car.  "You want to do the honors?"

"What honors?"

Jesse nudged the can of gas he'd brought, his grin a little too white and wide.  "Since you're the wounded party and all.  Either that or you could take a shit on his doorstep."

"...I'll set the car on fire."

"Good.  I been wanting to curl out a grunter on that son of a bitch's front step since I met him."  Jesse spat neatly into the bushes.  "Fucker.  I'll be back in a minute."

Hanzo watched him go, then turned back to watching the others jumping on the roof of the car, caving it in.  Some part of his heart warmed a little at the sight- the band had his back, cared more that someone had hurt him than about their own reputations, were all too happy to fuck up someone's day on his behalf.  He smiled faintly as Genji began slashing the undoubtedly expensive leather seats and Lucio and Kevin pissed in the trunk.  This must be what having a crew was like, what having friends was really like.

In that moment, Hanzo knew he would never ever talk shit about Watchpoint or its members again.

Well, except for Fucking Chad.  But he didn't count.


	11. Chapter 11

Watchpoint had never spent so much time together as when the tour got cancelled and they were all waiting for news about the likelihood of them continuing as a band.  It got to the point where they were all holed up in Lucio's place for the past week in some kind of weirdass coping party in their pajamas, with booze flowing freely and pizza or chinese coming in damn near every other hour.

With so much alcohol and camaraderie, it was inevitable that it would turn into a session of soul-bearing solidarity.

"Genji?"

"Mmm?"

"I've had like, the biggest crush on you," Lucio slurred.  "Like, the  _ biggest. _  You're so  _ nice. _ "

Genji turned pink, scoffing.  "I'm not nice.   _ You're _ nice."

"No,  _ you're  _ nice."

Hanzo snorted and leaned on Jesse as he watched the pair fumble into each other's arms, still bickering.  "You're both nice, now kiss already.  God.  You're disgusting."

Kevin glanced down into his cup, chewing his lip thoughtfully, then got up and sat next to Jesse.  "While we're at it, I need to tell you something, too."

"You're dating Fareeha?  Yeah, I know."  Jesse gave him a sozzled grin, draping an arm around Hanzo, who choked on his drink.  "Why d'you think I keep chasing everybody else off?  Fuck, you two're a great couple.  Gonna be my brother in law someday."

Hanzo squinted up at him.  "You  _ knew?! _  He's been terrified of telling you for ages!"

"Didn't want to intrude.  Figured y'all had it all figured out already, anyhow."  He draped his other arm around his favorite blond and let out a boozy laugh.  "Fuckin' love you guys.  So damn much, you know?"

"Also I'm trans."  That was barely audible.  "I think... I think I might have to quit the band, because I don't want to put off transitioning anymore."

"Like hell.  We'll be a boy band with a hot girl in the lineup.  Watch, it'll work."  Jesse tugged Angela closer, kissing her temple sloppily.  "Fuckin'... shit, if we even stay a band after this.  Should get together'n kill Chad."

Hanzo huffed out a laugh as Lucio and Genji paused their makeout and self-esteem session.

"Wait, Kevin's a girl?"

"Shit dude, why didn't you say so?  I got a doctor friend who could've gotten you titty skittles like, ages ago!"  Lucio reached a hand out to Angela.  "Honeyyyyyy..."

"I didn't want to cause trouble."

" _ Fuck _ that!"  Genji squirmed out from under Lucio and instead collapsed on Angela.  "Fuuuuuuuck that.  You're not trouble.  Everyone loves... shit, what do we call you?"

"Angela," she laughed, a few tears and a little snot leaking out as she was forcibly cuddled by her friends.  "God, you guys are gross.  Get off me."

"Noooooo..."

"No, seriously, get off me.  You're all sweaty and it's disgusting."  She curled her lip, shoving her bandmates away.  "Go take a shower, you all stink."

"We love you Angelaaaaaa..."  Lucio curled back up with Genji and their shared bottle of Smirnoff.  "We love you so muuuuch..."

"Then bathe.  Ugh."

"Dudes are gross," Hanzo agreed, leaning into Jesse's side and sliding an arm around him.  "Men are a constant disappointment.  Stay a lesbian, Angie.  Don't succumb to the dark side."

"Ugh, I won't.  I'm, uh... I'm gonna go Skype Fareeha.  Have fun managing the Wonder Twins over there."  She hauled herself to her feet, grabbing a box of tissues on the way to the guest room she'd claimed.  "Don't do anything stupid, and please tell me when my chow mein gets here?"

"So what was this about men being a disappointment?"

Hanzo's gaze slid wobbily up to Jesse.  "Don't worry, I include myself in that statement."

"What about me?"

A derisive snort as he chugged down the last of his PBR.   "You've been a disappointment since the day I met you."

"Like how?"  Jesse's face fell.  Oh god, he'd done something really wrong.

"You don't pick up on obvious flirting."  And with that, Hanzo leaned up and planted a sloppy kiss on Jesse's lips, tugging him closer by his sideburns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk where the gencio wound up coming from but im not gonna argue i love them good good green boys


	12. Chapter 12

"...hey, Hanzo?"

Hanzo paused as he tugged Jesse's shirt up- he had the taller man pinned against the wall in yet another guest room, and was ready and raring to save a horse by riding the eponymous cowboy.  Jesse's eyes were wide, a little scared, and Hanzo found himself backing off, going up on his toes to press a light kiss to the younger man's lips.

"What's up?"

"...I got something I gotta tell you."  Jesse took a deep breath, swallowing hard.  "I, uh... I'm a virgin."

"I know."  Another light kiss as he took his hand and tugged him towards the bed.  "Would you like to take things slower?"

"Yeah- wait, how'd you know?"

"Genji told me."

"How the fuck did Genji find out?"

"Same way the rest of the band did- you told them once when you were really drunk."  Hanzo smiled softly, sitting on the bed.  "Hey.  It's okay if you want to stop.  But like hell am I not waking up with you tomorrow."

Jesse leaned down for another kiss.  "You sure?  I mean..."

"If you want your first time to be special, then it can be special.  Besides, I didn't bring any of my dicks with me, and I doubt you have condoms handy."

"I have one in my wallet."

Hanzo shook his head.  "Heat degrades them.  Throw that thing out, we'll get a box tomorrow.  Come, sit, at least we can make out and get shirtless."

"I'd like that," Jesse murmured shyly, "I'd like that a lot.  God damn, Hanzo, you look amazing when you smile."

"Ugh, then I'll be sure never to."  He stuck out his tongue, tugging at Jesse's hand.  "Come on.  Take off your shirt.  Do it pretty for me, hm?"

That earned a lazy cowboy grin as Jesse slowly pulled his t-shirt off, showing softly defined abs and a trail of chestnut-brown hair across his chest and down his belly that slid into his pants between his finely detailed six-shooter hip tattoos.  Hanzo purred, running his hand up Jesse's belly, watching him sway his hips almost like a bellydancer.

"Like what you see?"

"Ohhhh, yes."  Hanzo leaned in and kissed the left tattoo.  "You're beautiful, Jesse.  My god."

That earned a dark blush as Jesse knelt on the bed, straddling Hanzo's hips.  "Now it's your turn.  I fuckin' love how you look, Han.  You got abs I could grate cheese with, swear to god."

"Pretty sure I could bounce a quarter off your ass."  Hanzo obliged, tugging off his stringer tee and flexing with a wink.  "You like muscles, hm?"

"Oh man, god damn do I ever."  He kissed one perfectly defined shoulder.  "Jesus.  Watchin' you move is like seeing boulders crashing together.  Just fuckin'  _ does  _ it for me, you know?  You look like you could tear me in goddamn two."

"Mmm.  I mean, I'm more than willing to tear you apart, but it'll be enjoyable for everyone involved.  I like topping twunks."

"Topping whats?"

"Twunks. Between a twink and a hunk."  He grinned, a little predatory.  "Kind of a joke, but honestly, that's where you are, unless you stop waxing your chest hair into that gay little patch.  Then you'd be a bear."

"...you lost me."

"Don't worry about it."  Hanzo kissed the center of his chest.  "Just rest assured you're the gay equivalent of the big-titted blonde cheerleader everyone wants to get with."

That made Jesse blush up to his hairline, smile incredibly white against his tawny skin.  "You think so?"

"Fuck, I know so."  He licked at a nipple.  "I bet there's plenty of fanart of you getting railed by a hot daddy or something."

"Oh my god, Hanzo, no-"

"Hanzo  _ yes. _ "  Another lick.  "So you've really never been with anyone at all?  That's kind of admirable, considering your line of work."

"Yeah, I just... kind of figured I'd like for my first time to mean something to me.  And I sure do like you a hell of a lot, Hanzo, rivalry aside."

"What dumbfuck made the rule that there can't be two bad boys in a boy band?  Fuck that.  Let's do our own thing, see where it goes.  I mean, if Watchpoint survives this clusterfuck."  Hanzo sighed, laying back onto the bed, Jesse bending over him for a kiss.  "Right when I start liking this shit, too."

"Hey, it's gonna be okay."  Jesse rolled to lie beside him, resting his head on his chest.  "At least you've got friends.  We'll take care of you.  It'll be fine."

"Hmm."  Hanzo ran a hand absentmindedly through Jesse's hair, musing. At least now he had some kind of exposure, and the overgrown twink seemed ready to follow him to the ends of the earth.  Maybe this would be a good jumping-off point, kickstart a real music career since the metal thing had obviously not panned out.  "You play guitar?"

"Sorta.  Why?"

"I was thinking of maybe starting a band from the ashes of Watchpoint.  Lucio does a lot of synth work, right?"

"Yeah, and Ke- Angela," he corrected swiftly, "Angela could maybe talk Fareeha into being our drummer."

"Might be nice to have a few girls around."

"Yeah."  Jesse's eyes drifted closed- Hanzo's pecs were surprisingly great pillows, and he was very tired and somewhat still drunk.  "Hey, is it okay if I crash out?  I'm pretty beat."

"Sure."  A faintly contented smile lit Hanzo's face. "I'll wake you up if something happens."

A long stretch of silence as Jesse curled against the smaller man's side.  Then:

"...this mean I earned you?"

"Pff, sure, I guess."


	13. Chapter 13

Jesse woke up with Hanzo's hair in his mouth and a cramp in his arm and he couldn't have been fucking happier if he tried.

Unfortunately this was tempered by a wicked hangover and the unbelievable need to piss, so he slowly extricated himself from the smaller man's vise grip and wobbled his unsteady way to the bathroom, where he found Lucio and Genji passed out in the bathtub, marginally clothed.  It was fairly obvious that the two had crashed out mid-coitus, which wasn't terribly out of character for Genji, but Lucio was a bit of a surprise.  Still, nature called, and he answered it by dropping trou and trying his damnedest not to miss the bowl, with relative success.

He managed to grab them the bottle of ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet and a bottle of water each from the fridge before crawling back in beside Hanzo, who was still snoring thunderously.  His breath stank, he'd drooled on the pillow, and as he shifted position he let out a fart that could only be called dainty as his cowboyfriend spooned him again.

It occurred to Jesse that it had to be true love if he didn't immediately shove Hanzo off the bed for that.

Instead he buried his face in the thick black hair, nuzzling into Hanzo's scalp and inhaling the scent of the argan oil conditioner he used.  He got to hug Hanzo.  Shit, he got to  _ kiss  _ Hanzo.  He got to wake up beside him and make him breakfast or at  _ least _ order a bagel delivery.

Funny how that worked, really.  Ask him about a month ago, and he would have been like,  _ naw, no way, I can't stand that sonofabitch and he don't like me neither,  _ but nope, nope, that was a crush brewing and Jesse was just too damn dumb about his feelings to recognize it.

He kind of really hoped Hanzo felt the same way.

He nuzzled the shorn part of Hanzo's undercut, enjoying the rough bristly hair against his nose and cheek.  Hanzo was made of fun textures- the thick, coarse locks atop his head, the stubble of his scalp, the squish and roll of his muscles under impossibly soft skin (what kind of moisturizer did he use?  Jesse had to find out), and his lips, god  _ damn _ those were good lips; Jesse never wanted to stop kissing them.  Not to mention the almost silvery smoothness of his surgery scars, the faint silky treasure trail disappearing into his jeans... holy shit, he never wanted to stop touching this man.

One thing that surprised him was that Hanzo had damn near no body hair.  Jesse had to constantly wax, shave, was considering laser treatments to keep it manageable, had cultivated it down to a patch on his chest and a trail down his belly, but his parents had both had hairy genes and he'd inherited them all.  Hanzo, instead, was smooth as could be, with little fine pale peach fuzz at best across his chest, shoulders, back, belly.  It made him light up and glow when he was backlit, all those little transparent hairs making a halo when he was up on stage and Jesse was pretending not to spend the whole time ogling him.  The night before Hanzo had nuzzled into Jesse's chest hair, damn near purring with contentment, and asked him to please stop waxing and for the first time since puberty hit, Jesse felt like maybe his body hair was just fine by him and it could all grow out a little bit for a while if Hanzo liked it so damn much.

He yawned and felt Hanzo stir in his arms- the smaller man was waking up finally, letting out a raspy growl of discontentment.

"Water."

Jesse passed him a bottle.  "You want some aspirin?"

"Please."  Hanzo grabbed it and downed half the bottle, then took the ibuprofen and chewed it before finishing off the water.  "I feel like shit."

"Mmm."  Jesse took his time drinking his bottle, letting the little reddish pills slide down his throat to give his churning gut a rather more gentle hello.  "Got no plans today.  Take your time."

"Diner."

"Hmm?"

"I need a diner.  Jesse, help me get dressed.  We're finding a diner."  He pulled himself up to sit, clutching his head.  "Fuck  _ me. _ "

"You okay, Han?"  He sat up, pressing against Hanzo's back and kissing his shoulder.  "Take it easy."

_ "Hhhnnnngh." _  Hanzo melted back against him.  "I need grease.  Please tell me there's a shitty little diner somewhere close."

"I'll find out for you, sweetheart."  Another kiss.  "Just take it easy.  And uh... maybe don't go in the nearest bathroom.  Genji and Lucio passed out there trying to get it in last night."

"Typical.  What about Angela?"

"Probably still asleep."

"Hngh."

It took a few more moments until Hanzo was fully prepared to leave the bed, but he did, yanking on his shirt and sliding his feet into some flip-flops while Jesse had it just together enough to button his own shirt, albeit crooked as hell.  They made their careful way to the living room- trashed, as could be expected- and Hanzo made a brief detour to the powder room to spiff his biscuits, Jesse following to hold his hair back while he summoned an Uber to take them to the nearest greasy spoon.

"You okay?"

"Gravy," Hanzo croaked.  "Eggs.  Fries.  Coffee."  He heaved again, but there was nothing left to offer to the porcelain god.  "Gravy on all of it."

"Gravy on your gravy?"

"Nngh."

"Gravy on your  _ coffee? _ "

"I know what I said."

"Jesus."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gravy solves hangovers pass it on


	14. Chapter 14

It didn't take long at all for Jesse to invite Hanzo out to the summer place he'd bought in Maine a few years back on some lake damn near nobody knew about.  He'd even bought the lake, too, since the property was practically pennies an acre, mostly due to the unpaved road, complete lack of winter maintenance, and questionable electricity being run out there.  Jesse had thrown a few solar panels out in a clearing as a concession to convenience, but otherwise the cabin was just the way he'd found it, a little worn and run down, but clean and warm and dry and comfortable with a lovely view of the lake and trees.

Hanzo felt strangely at ease- most people would think of this as a murdercabin, with how secluded and shabby it was, but it exuded a kind of charm that reminded him of Jesse himself, cozy and comforting and not really trying to pretend it was anything fancy.

"Got everything?"  Jesse parked the old truck right by the door, giving Hanzo a bright, slightly shy grin.  "Because we ain't gonna see civilization for a while."

"So long as you remembered the beer, I'm good."  He climbed out, hefting his duffle bag and returning the smile.  It occurred to him that it was almost frightening how fast the pair of them had fallen into a nearly domestic routine of casual affection and spending the night together.  Sure, they still hadn't banged- Jesse was a little hesitant and had wanted to hold off until they'd been together a while, which was fine by Hanzo.

"Sure did."  He slid an arm around Hanzo, kissing the top of his head.  "Aaaaand everything else.  C'mon, let me give you the nickel tour."

Hanzo allowed himself to be pulled up onto the porch and into the cabin and promptly into Jesse's arms, where he went up on tiptoe for a kiss- Jesse tasted of cheap cigarettes, the Big Mac he'd had for lunch, and the violet mints he'd bought at a little local gas station a few miles back when they'd gotten beer.

"So here's the main room, got your kitchen, sorta-" he motioned towards an area with a counter, a pump that poured into a sink, and a few cabinets, "your living space, your woodstove... up there's the loft."  He motioned to some stairs.  "Which is where we're gonna cuddle up tonight."

"And the bathroom?"

Jesse snorted, leading him out a door on the far side of the room.  They stepped out into sunshine, where a little path led to an outhouse.  "Behold the throne room."

"How do we bathe?"

"We got a lake, hon."  He chuckled, leaning in for another kiss.  "Soap and a skinnydip."

"Sounds... rustic."  Hanzo's lips twisted in amusement.  "You always seemed more of a jacuzzi and cigar kind of person to me."

"Well I'm just full of surprises, ain't I?  C'mon, let's get settled in and take a dip."

"How do you think Lucio and Genji are getting on?"

"Probably fuckin', to be honest.  You know those two, they been eyeing each other up for years."  Jesse snorted, grinning.  "Glad they finally got around to gettin' together."

"Me, too." Off came Hanzo's shirt.  "I never thought Maine would be this hot, even in summer."

"Yeah, it's pushin' a hundred.  Thank fuck I got an AC in the cabin or we'd goddamn die."

"Seriously?  I thought it'd be cold."

"So did I, when I bought the place.  The lake's spring-fed, though, so that makes up for the shitty weather."  He gave him a mischevious grin.  "Want to unpack later?"

The smile was returned with all the wickedness it deserved; Hanzo pushed him away and began running down the hill to the lake, stripping down as he went, clothes flying every which way until he got to the end of the dock and jumped in-

-and screamed bloody murder at the icy water the moment he hit.  Jesse roared with laughter, stumbling over his own boots as he made his way rather more sedately, stripping down until he was naked as a jaybird and hooting with glee as he stood on the dock.

"You okay, Shimada-san?"

" _ Fuck! _  How-  _ fuck! _  How is it even this fucking cold?!"  Hanzo was wading across the pebbly bottom towards the shore, shuddering.  "I thought you said it was spring-fed!"

"Aw, shit, you're used to hotsprings, ain't you?"  Jesse slipped into the water, catching Hanzo up in his arms.  "C'mere.  Let me warm you up."

Hanzo clung to Jesse's warm bulk like a terrified spider monkey, face buried in his shoulder. "Jesse, you  _ fucker... _ "

"I know, I know, I'm awful.  Just the absolute worst." He kissed Hanzo's ear, letting him wrap his legs around his waist.  "But it got you cuddlin' up to me, huh?  Worth it."

Jesse sank down into the water, Hanzo still clinging tight as he began to make his way out towards a floating dock he'd installed a couple years back.  The other man's body was impossibly warm and comfortable against him, and he began to hum softly as he awkwardly swam them out, boosting his boyfriend up onto the sun-worn planks, the dock bobbing with their weight as he hauled himself up to join Hanzo.  They lay, splayed out on the warm wood, fingers gently twining together as they soaked up the brilliant summer sun and the scent of warm pine needles.

"Hanzo?"  Jesse's voice was barely above a murmur.

"Mmm?"  Hanzo rolled onto his side, a lazy smile on his lips as he eyed up his boyfriend's thick build.  He trailed a hand down the broad chest, humming with pleasure.  "You've stopped waxing?"

"Yeah, you said-"

"Good.  I like it."  He rolled on top of Jesse for a kiss, straddling his hips.  "Let it all grow in.  You'll be a beautiful bear."

"Beautiful?"  Those warm brown eyes shone up at Hanzo.  "Really?  Me?"

"Oh, god yes."  Another kiss.  "You're incredibly beautiful, Jesse."

"Shit, speak for yourself."  One big brown hand slid up Hanzo's belly.  "You look like sunshine."

The smile grew, broadening into a grin as Hanzo stretched languidly, head cocked as he drank in the sight of Jesse staring up in near-worship beneath him.  He rolled his hips, letting out a deep, satisfied sigh, and pulled his hair out of its customary topknot, letting it fall loose and dripping down to his chin.

"Good lord," Jesse breathed.  "Look at  _ you. _ "

"Go on," was the purred reply.  "Touch me.  I dare you."

Jesse let out a needy whimper, nearly a sob.  "Aw, Hanzo, you're gonna be the death of me..."

"Good."  Another roll of his hips as he felt the other man's cock slowly but surely rise to full attention beneath him.  "I intend to strip every ounce of virtue from you by the time we leave."


	15. Chapter 15

"Hanzo, please, Hanzo, god, fuck, baby-"

He rocked into Jesse, bending low over the broad back and pressing a kiss to one brawny shoulder.  "You are so good," he hissed, groaning deep in his chest.  "So, so good.  Look at how pretty you are, Jesse."

Jesse, meanwhile, was incredibly pleased to find that getting reamed up the ass by your boyfriend's starter strapon didn't hurt at all, contrary to popular belief.  Hanzo had said that if the lube wasn't practically dripping off the ceiling, that they hadn't used enough, and Jesse was more than a little surprised to find out that was true.  He'd been filled up with the lube shooter- a cross between a syringe and a turkey baster- and then more was added to Hanzo's sparkly little purple cock before he climbed aboard the cowboy.

It was a little uncomfortable at first, lube notwithstanding.  Jesse had tried a finger up his ass when he was jerking it and feeling a little squirrelly, but had never found the sweet spot that Hanzo had said made cis guys lose their fucking shit.  Hanzo, however, found it almost immediately, stroking into Jesse with the practiced ease of an old hand, making him shudder and shake with the need to be filled.

Hanzo moaned, trying to rein in his urge to scratch, to bite, to get rough and nasty and make Jesse raise some nice dark bruises on his pale olive skin.  He liked to hurt after sex, liked the ache of a good fucking that was halfway a fistfight.  But here... now...

...he needed to be gentle.

He stroked his hands down Jesse's back, nuzzling at the warm nut-brown skin.  "So good, Jesse.  You're doing beautifully."

"Hanzo..."  He whimpered, melting under the touch.  "Want to see you..."

That made him pause in his thrusting.  "Do you want to be on your back?"

"Please?"  Jesse glanced back over his shoulder.  "Please, Hanzo.  I want to watch you."

Hanzo drew out of him, making the bigger man whimper with the sudden empty ache.  “Turn over,” he instructed gently, guiding him with careful hands,  “and bring your knees to your chest.  Stretch your legs up if you can.”

Jesse obeyed meekly, letting out another needy whine as muscles stretched that hadn’t ever really had a chance to move that way.  He gazed up at Hanzo through heavy lashes, biting his lip in anticipation as his boyfriend sank back into him.

“Do you want me to turn on the vibrations?”  Hanzo reached down and began to gently stroke Jesse’s thick cock, thumbing the head.  “Or is just the dildo enough?”

“Just the dildo.  Mmm, god, Hanzo-”

He let out a purring sigh, rolling his hips as he pressed Jesse’s legs back.  It was amazing, this big, tough-looking guy turned into absolute putty in his hands, melting against him with every thrust of this itty bitty My Very First Anal Explorer or whatever the hell the kit had been called.  There was probably a smiley face on the package, and the mannequin modeling it in the store had had the biggest, saddest tits Hanzo had ever seen.

“I love you so damn much baby,” Jesse panted, reaching up to Hanzo. “God, fuck, I'm gonna- please- baby...”

Hanzo kissed Jesse's rough palm, nuzzling his fingers as he felt hot cum dribble over his own hand. Jesse let out a soft keening noise, high, almost a whimper, almost a moan, barely Hanzo’s name, and it was the single most erotic sound Hanzo had ever heard.

“Good boy, Jesse. Good. You're so beautiful when you cum.” Hanzo smiled, hair falling loose around his face as he slowly, gently drew out of him and snuggled into his arms, pressing a kiss to the underside of Jesse's jaw. “You're just beautiful in general.”

“Promise?” Jesse's deep, rough chuckle was muted with the haze of orgasm. “Because I'm pretty sure I look like one mother of a mess.”

The pair cuddled into the pile of quilts, sweaty and tired, the faint musty scent of dust rising in the room. Jesse huffed, gazing up at the ceiling. “Really oughta slap a coat of paint up here.”

“Hush. This place is fine.” Hanzo shivered as Jesse's knuckles brushed lightly over his carefully trimmed pubic hair. “You don't have to reciprocate. Enjoy the afterglow.”

“But what about you?”

“Jesse,” Hanzo took his hand, twining their fingers together, “this vacation is about you.”

That earned a soft grumble, but Jesse settled back down, eyes already heavy. “Want you to have a good time, too.”

“I am.”

“You sure?”

Hanzo smiled, slow and satisfied, and gave Jesse's softening cock a gentle grope.

“Absolutely certain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long buuuuuuuuut I was getting out of a bad living situation so hey enjoy the courtesy dick


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the second courtesy dick chapter, enjoy these nice young men defiling one another
> 
> i had to write this in my phone so let me know if autocorrect ate shit and i didn't catch it

Hanzo awoke to the unmistakable sensation of a blowjob.

It eased him out of the thick, heavy sleep he'd fallen into, making him shift slightly under the thin sheet as he reached down to tangle his hands in Jesse's soft hair, holding him in place as he rolled his hips up to thrust slowly, lazily into Jesse's mouth.  A contented sigh rumbled out of him, deep and hoarse from sleep.

“Morning, Sunshine.”

Hanzo smiled lazily at the drawl that floated up from under the sheet. “Morning. Having fun?”

“Just having myself a little sausage for breakfast, is all.”

“Mmm. Don't let me stop you.” His legs fell open as Jesse swirled his tongue around his thick clit. “Eat up.”

Jesse obeyed, a deep purr rumbling from him and vibrating across his tongue as he hollowed his cheeks, burying his face in Hanzo's carefully trimmed pubic hair. It occurred to him that Hanzo tasted almost faintly oniony, fresh and green and delicious. He came up off him for a moment.

“Is it okay if I finger you?”

“I wish you would.” Hanzo's smile was sleepy, content. “Be gentle. Have you ever done this before?”

Jesse shook his head, a little shy.

“Just take it slow. I'll tell you what to do. Come here.” Hanzo beckoned him up for a kiss, sweet and slow.  “You're doing a wonderful job, Jesse. Especially for a virgin.”

“Really?”

“Mm-hm.”another kiss. “In fact, how did you know what to suck on?”

“Well... it looked like a dick, so I figured...”

“Very astute observation. Keep licking, then. You're doing very well.”

Jesse obliged as Hanzo lay back down. He pet his thighs and hips and began to lick slowly, running his tongue around the head of Hanzo's clit and watching him shiver. He very delicately slipped a finger into him, rubbing at his walls curiously.

“Having fun?”

“It feels so... strange? I wasn't expecting this. I thought you'd feel smooth,” he murmured.

Hanzo chuckled, hips rocking slightly as he squeezed down on the thick finger. “Imagine that on your cock.”

“...oh my god.”

“I know, right?”

“Can I...?”

“Get a condom on.”

“I'm clean.”

“I can still have oopsies.” Hanzo snorted. “I'm not risking it.”

“Oh.” Jesse kissed his thigh. “Really? Okay. Pass me one?”

“I can do you a little better,” Hanzo said softly, sitting up again and stroking Jesse's thick cock. He fumbled for a condom from the nightstand, tore the wrapper open with his teeth, and carefully held the rubber in his mouth.

“Wait-”

And in a moment, he'd ducked his head, taking Jesse down in a single fluid motion, the condom unrolling.

“...ohhhhhhhhhhh my god...”

Jesse let out a surprisingly girlish sound, eyes rolling back as Hanzo swallowed, his throat massaging his shaft.

“How...”

Hanzo came right back up with a wicked grin, unclenching the fist around his thumb as he took a deep breath. “Pressure point. It dulls the gag reflex.”

“Jesus.”

He laughed as he nuzzled Jesse's throat. “Jesus has absolutely nothing to do with it. How do you want me?”

“I get to pick?”

“Of course. After all, you're the one getting deflowered.” He tweaked a brown nipple, then ran his fingers through the short thatch of chest hair that was finally growing back in. “Unless you want me to be the one in charge.”

“God, please, tell me what to do.” Jesse's eyes were blown dark as he leaned down to kiss Hanzo. “Please, I'll do whatever you want.”

“You really are a subby little bitch, aren't you?”

“Yeah. I guess so.” He blushed to the very tops of his ears. “Is that okay?”

A devious grin curled across Hanzo's lips as he pressed Jesse down to lie on the bed. “It's much more than okay. I like subby bitches, Jesse. You're a dream come true for me.”

Jesse's eyes filled with wonder as Hanzo crawled up to sit straddling his hips, his cock rubbing deliciously at the impossibly warm, wet cleft between his legs. 

“Are you ready? Because we can stop if you're not.”

“I want this,” he breathed. “Please, Hanzo.”

And with that, Hanzo rose up and sank slowly down on Jesse's cock, a deep, contented sigh leaving him as he settled into his boyfriend's lap.  He gave Jesse a lazy smile, licking his lips, and squeezed down on him.

“Holy shit.”

“Merry fucking Christmas.”

“It's  _ July.” _

“So?” Another squeeze, making Jesse whimper helplessly. “Are you going to question Santa Hanzo?”

“N-no. Lord, you feel amazing.” He licked his lips, hands sliding up Hanzo's sides as he gazed up at him, heart pounding. “Can I...?”

Hanzo took his hands, bringing them up to press on his pecs. “Go ahead. I've seen you staring. I know you're curious.”

He ran his hands over the long scares under each pec, then trailed up the little lines that connected the big scars to the ones circling his nipples.

“Did it hurt?”

“Yeah, but I was on some good drugs,” Hanzo purred as he rocked against Jesse. “You know what's funny? My pecs are bigger now than my boobs ever were.”

“Seriously?”

“Mmmm. Mm-hm.” He gasped softly as Jesse's cock found a particularly good spot. “God. You're so fucking thick! I love it.”

Jesse grinned, eyes sparkling as he watched Hanzo move above him, gasping out little snippets of praise that made him blush as he began to rock his hips in time with his boyfriend's movements.  It felt incredible to be inside Hanzo, but even better to hear him murmur out how good he was.

Jesse was a slut for praise.  It showed in the deep, pleased blush that covered his cheeks, neck, and shoulders, the sweet, almost worshipful smile he beamed up at Hanzo, the way he followed every order he was given to adjust his angle for Hanzo's personal benefit.  He lived for positive reinforcement like a fucking human Golden Retriever.

“You look like a porn star,” he breathed, staring up at Hanzo.  “Jesus.”

“What did- ahhhh- I say about Jesus?”

“That he ain't got a damn thing to do with this. Shit. You're right, you're fuckin’ Lucifer himself come to suck my soul out through my dick,” Jesse moaned, the muscles in his gut tightening. “Oh shit, Hanzo, baby, I'm gonna- please slow down-”

“It's okay,” was the low, husky response. “Cum for me, Jesse.”

With a roll of Hanzo's hope, Jesse came, voice a deep growl as he leaned forward and clung to Hanzo, burying his face in his chest.  Hanzo wrapped his arms around him, stroking his hair and kissing the top of his head, a satisfied smirk on his lips.

“You're a virgin, you're allowed to be a two pump chump. We can work on your stamina later.”

Jesse whimpered, nodding, his entire body shaking as he left red welts down Hanzo's broadly muscled back, nails digging into the pale skin.  He had had orgasms before, sure, but the ones he had with Hanzo so far were pretty well above and beyond anything he'd experienced.

“Love you,” he mumbled, voice muffled by Hanzo's chest. “So much. Oh my god I love you.”

“Is it okay if I jerk off?”

“Mmyeah.  Can I watch?”

“Of course.  Maybe you'll learn something useful.” He gave him an indulgent smile, kissing his forehead.  “I love you too.”


	17. Chapter 17

“Me, your momma, and some other who-ore...”

Jesse's voice drifted into the cabin from where he was loading up an old aluminum canoe.

“...floatin’ down the river on a shit-house door...”

Hanzo's eyes narrowed slightly as he washed the last of the dishes from breakfast. The sheer number of questionably ribald songs his boyfriend knew was staggering.

“Gonna tie my pecker to m’leg, to m’leg...”

He set the last one to dry in the rack and slipped outside.

“Gonna tiiiiiiie my pecker to my le-eg...”

Jesse's voice cracked on the last note as Hanzo hugged him from behind.

“You're disgusting.” Hanzo's voice was muffled as he nuzzled against Jesse's broad back. “I want a divorce.”

“Shit, don't you gotta be married to get a divorce?”

“Hn.”

Jesse laughed softly and sighed. “I don't want to head back tomorrow.”

“Me neither, but we must.”

“Move in with me?”

“I thought Uhauling was a lesbian thing.” Hanzo released his man and moved to stand beside him, eyeing the canoe. “And are you sure attaching a motor to this is a good idea?”

“Why not? It's a boat, ain't it? You put motors on boats.” He leaned down for a kiss. “Come on, baby. I got a house that's too damn big for just me. Move in. Help me study while I collect diplomas. Do your scary metal music. We'll raise Pomeranians or something to pay the bills.”

“Or...” Hanzo took Jesse's hand. “We buy an old bus, fix it up nicely, start a band together and road trip around the country playing dive bars for a while before you start collecting diplomas.”

“That sounds real nice.”

“Mmm. It would be.  You becoming my handsome professor husband while I wander around the house in next to nothing making music and sending you dirty pictures.”  A wicked smile curled at his lips.  “On the weekends I lead you around on a leash.”

“Fuck, you’re a kinky sonofabitch, huh?”  Jesse laughed, turning bright red.  “How about instead we just do that road trip and see where it goes?  I like the idea of fixing up a bus.  Maybe hit all the old tourist traps we can find?”

“I think that sounds wonderful.”  Hanzo pressed close for a kiss, eyes half-lidded.  “And at the end of it I’ll tell you if I think we should move in together.”

“Deal.  Now help me with this boat, huh?  Then maybe we can get back and you can bang my brains out again.”

“You really want to do all that prep work again?”  Hanzo snorted.  “I can’t believe what a bottom you are.  And we just had breakfast, too.”

“You know I don’t do anything in moderation.”  Jesse leaned down for another kiss.  “You introduce me to butt stuff and it’s gonna be all I want to do.  And when we get home I want to try every dick you got in that toy box of yours.  That little purple thing is nice, but I bet I can go bigger.”

Hanzo tossed the last of the supplies in the canoe and pinched Jesse’s ass before heading to the other end of the canoe, picking it up to carry into the water.  “Please tell me you’re not a size queen.”

“You’d better believe it, baby.”  Jesse’s grin was infectious.

“Gross.  Am I going to have to invest in Bad Dragon stuff?  Maybe that’ll shut you up for a while.”

They slid the canoe into the lake, and Jesse hopped in, Hanzo standing on shore.

“Come on, sweet thing, get in!”

“Turn the motor on, first.”  Hanzo folded his arms across his chest, watching with an impeccably arched eyebrow.

“You don’t trust me?”

“Jesse.  Turn the motor on first, show me that it’s safe, and I’ll get in the boat.”

“Can’t believe someone so exciting in bed is so boring out of it,” Jesse grumbled, still grinning.  “Okay.  Okay.  I’ll prove it to you.  I’ll even take a trip around the dock to show you it’s fine.”

“Please do.”

It took a few moments, but eventually Jesse got it started, lowered the propeller into the water-

-and the canoe went  _ shockingly _ vertical, dumping everything into the water, Jesse included, the man going down with an indignant squawk while Hanzo lost his entire and complete shit onshore.

 

One undignified rescue and a condolence blowjob later and Jesse’s wounded pride felt at least slightly patched up, though Hanzo would be sure to never let him live it down for the rest of their days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have literally witnessed the canoe thing, you can thank my idiot father for that one lollllllll
> 
> Fluff chapter bc I just like, needed one more before we get back into The Shit, just let me have this 
> 
> blease
> 
> Jesse is singing Tie My Pecker by Mojo Nixon who is a veritable font of delightfully crass lyrics and was in the godawful super Mario Bros movie as Toad just fyi


End file.
